Announcing a business opportunity death nobody will care about

Article by Charlie Wright

In a minute, I’ll share something really funny…

…That I didn’t write.

Yes, I know. What has it come to when I have to borrow other people’s jokes?

Seeing as my daughter has decided to change her waking-up time form 7am to 5am, humour has leached from me like a milky tear of misery.

Now I’m like a scavenger, feeding off other people’s fun.

Anyway you can read the amusing thing in a moment.

First… talking of tears….
I don’t think anyone’s going to cry over this

A few years ago I reviewed Fast2Net. It offered a service where it you up as an affiliate seller with a variety of online shopping companies.

You’d pay £150 for two websites, choosing from adult, gambling, CD, DVD and books and women’s issues sites. They set up these affiliates on websites like Amazon and Clickbank.

Trouble was, they were clone sites. What you got was identical to hundreds, even thousands of others sites, all going after the same sales.

At the time one of my readers offered this advice which I posted on my website –

“Fast2Net has been around for donkeys. It’s just pyramid selling online the first few hundred may have made 50p a week(estimated) but now!!!. Tell your readers to set up their own website, it’s easy with companies like Fasthosts around(no affiliation). Great site and e-mails.

Now another read has emailed me with some news…

“Just to confirm your review of this `opp’. I am not sure when you updated this page, but I think you’ll find they’ve gone, as have the websites they made for you. TradeDoubler seem ok for affiliate marketing, although I have an account I don’t seem to find time to follow up – must do that! Excellent website packed with hints, clues and info, Thanks.”
And thanks to you, too!

So…. looks like the end of Fast2Net then.
Boo hoo. Etc.
But I’ve got some better news…
How to boost your betting profits

If you’re looking for some useful, profitable sports betting information, you should check the betting reviews on the site.


I just had to pass this on because it was funny. And I’m sure it’ll ring a bell. This was sent to me by a reader.

Take it away….
Why do most bizop offers make me hit the “Delete” button?

I get what looks to be a great offer in an email, so I click on the link…
1.)   I see a great spread of 20 DVDs in front of a heap of books, manuals, files, worksheets and God knows what else.

How much time do these people think I’ve got? There’s no way in hell I’m ever going to get through that lot. I’ve still got books to read I bought months ago.

2.)   I see pictures of the vendor’s Ferrari, Lamborghini, BIG HOUSE, wife-who-looks-like-a-model, jet plane, helicopter, and some shots from his recent luxury holiday in some exotic location or other.

If he’s so rich and successful, why is he bothering me with his $97 offer? Why isn’t he just getting on with his “perfect” life?
3.)   A never-ending list of bonuses, each more expensive than the previous one.

Why does the seller think he has to offer me $100,000 in bonuses to get me to buy something for $97?

4.)   Shots of his various Clickbank accounts.

Isn’t it amazing what you can do with Photoshop these days?
5.)   A web page filled with animations, HUGE FONTS, fancy colours and sometimes blaring music and speech exhorting me to click and buy.

Looks like childrens’ hour on TV.
6.)   The inevitable demand to “Buy Now, Or Lose The Offer At Midnight Tonight”.

Where’s the fire?

7.)   Endorsements from people you know from all the other endorsements they’ve been making on seemingly every other product I’ve seen which they or their buddies have tried to sell me in the last five years.

Seriously, guys, give it a rest.
8.)   Guarantees of 100% satisfaction or your money back.

I can get a full refund from my credit card company, if I have to.

9.)   American spelling.

That’s their real market , not us.
10.)Declarations that this product is some sort of secret which will lose it’s value as soon as word of it gets out.

In that case, it’s value is already lost. Highly lucrative marketing secrets are never sold for $97.
11.)When closing the window, I am made another series of offers of various sorts and even connected to the payment page.
Sorry, not interested.
That’s why.
Thanks for that. Good points, amusingly made.

Fancy a job?

That’s it. I’m off to get myself a sense of humour. A pint should do the trick.

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