News – and a crook on the loose

Article by Charlie Wright

It’s 8am…

Not usually up this early, but a dream about a theatre full of giant bats drove me out of bed.

There I stood in the kitchen, my hair like an electric hedge, wondering to myself, “So THIS is what the early morning is like?”

I charged up a caffetiere of strong Mexican coffee, bolted it back and switched my computer on.

Now I feel primed. Energetic. Ready to get RIGHT TO THE POINT. No beating about the bush. No preamble. No repeating sentences in lots of different ways.

…oh, damn.

Onwards and upwards…

Be wary of this roulette system

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I discussed the racing tipster Simon Foreman?

Well, I got this email from a reader which might interest you:

“His wife does a nifty sales letter promising the earth on…winning on roulette. The cost is £150 and then another £150 one month later.”

Okay, now you know my feelings about roulette.

While dedicated gamblers say it’s good to stick to a system when playing, it doesn’t mean that there’s ONE almighty system.

Or that any system you stick to will work.

The idea is you give yourself rules so you keep disciplined. As long as you understand that even a system that works for you at one time can suddenly go pear shaped the next.

So does this one work? Well, my reader says:

“The roulette system stinks. She has a staking plan which involves betting on the lines that have odds of 5/1, i.e: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 are line 1 and 7 to 12 are line 2 with 13-18 line 3, etc.

“Basically you wait for 5 out of the 6 lines to come out. For instance, if number 3 then 27 then 9 then 14 then 22 come out, you start betting on line 6, i.e 30 to 36. This requires the line to come in within 19 spins of the wheel.”

He goes on…

“It works… but when it doesn’t, a £1 starting stake on the first spin progresses to you losing £100 in total if it hasn’t come in by spin 19.

“And, trust me, when you get to spin 16 and you are still going, your bottom does more than twitch!”

If bottom twitching is your thing, then by all means have a go. I have nothing against roulette systems. They’re fun and a nice accessory if you already enjoy playing the game.

Just be aware that they’re never going to make you consistent second income.

And you could lose a LOT of money.

Also, beware that Mrs Foreman doesn’t offer a money back guarantee. She merely states if you can prove you made losses she will consider a refund.

“Consider?” Not exactly a guarantee, is it?

Finally today…

Another fake banking con

As you know, I like to poke fun at the various scamsters who write to me telling me I can make easy money from Nigerian money transfers, or that I’ve inherited millions.

But this one is even more ridiculous…

Watch out for emails from William Moris, a “staff of Natwest Bank plc London”. You can immediately tell from his terrible English that he’s not the real deal.

He begins his email:

“I am pleased to get across to you for a very urgent and profitable business proposal which I believe will profit the both of us after completion,” he says.

“The sum of £12,500,000 has been floating as unclaimed since 2000 in my bank as all efforts to get across to the relatives of our client who deposited the money have hit the stones.”

Hit the stones? What the hecking crikey is he on about?

“There is this immigrant Mr. Andreas schranner, property magnate who was based in the U.K,” he continues.

“On the 25th of July 2000, Mr. Andreas schranner, his wife Maria, their daughter Andréa, her husband Christian, and their children katharina and maximilian all died in the air France concord plane crash bound for New York in their plan for a world cruise.”

Nice exploitation of a famous tragedy, huh?

“I have decided to seek your assistance,” says Mr Moris, “to have you stand as his next of kin so that the said fund (£ 12,500,000.00 million pounds), would be released in your name as the next of kin and paid into your account.”

What a load of old BOBBINS.

Here’s what I would tell Mr Moris…

“Helo dear Mr Moris from Nat West. I am Charlie Write, an eenglise man from London town. I am very pleased you send me email.

“Love a duck, cockney, cor blimey genuine eenglise man that I am, I would love the monies you promise because I am buying a pubic house.

“The pubic house very popular here in eest end London, for beers and wine, cor blimey gov, and cost much monies.

“You have pubes where you come from in the bank of Nathaniel West, Mr Moris? I hope so, then you understand we could make much profeet together with purchase of aforementioned pube.

“Pleese send more info.

“Love Charlie Write”.

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